Tuesday, January 21, 2014

And God Said . . .

            When I was going through my “four-month funk” last year, I was so stressed and depressed about life.  I felt like I couldn’t do anything right, and yet I kept trying and trying to accomplish something, anything.  All day, I would ruminate on all the things that were wrong, all the ways I was failing.  And I would plead with God to show me what more I needed to do to succeed.  My shoulders ached from being tense all the time.  My head hurt.  And the tears were always ready to burst forth.
            And one day, as I stood in my kitchen doing dishes, I asked God to help me.  To tell me one thing that He wanted me to do.  Whatever it was, I would do it.  I was failing, failing, failing, and I just wanted His leading in my life because I couldn’t do anything on my own.  What else did He want me to try?  What did I need to give up?  What needed to be pruned from my life?  What did I need to do to make things better? 
            And do you know what He said, the big advice that He gave me? 
“Turn up the music and dance!”
            “Turn up the music and dance!”  As soon as I heard it, I knew that this is what I really needed to hear.  He was letting me know what was best for me at that moment.  I didn’t need to keep trying so hard to accomplish something, to reach for something just past my grasp.  I just needed to relax, to breathe, to celebrate the moment that He gave me as a gift. 
            And so I did.  As the kids played outside, I turned up the music in my kitchen and just danced.  I shook out all of the stress and the ache, and I let the music fill me with delight and joy.  I let go of my fears that I would fail, and I grabbed the blessings of the moment.    
            It filled me with joy to know that God knew what I really needed, that He cared enough about me to remind me to slow down and relax and enjoy the journey.  To breathe.  To smell the roses.  Pick a daisy.  Laugh with my kids.  Talk a walk. 
            Sometimes, I make it harder than it needs to be.  And I overwhelm myself with the idea that everything God asks us to do is going to be stressful and hard work and sacrifice and dying to self.  But sometimes, in His love and wisdom, He just wants us to dance.